Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
