Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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