we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
