you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
