so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
