I bet he comes in French.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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