"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
