all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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