Swine flu. Run for my life!
Michael Bay diarrhea
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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