Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
