i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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