We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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