He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I enjoy the company of your penis
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