Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
