Porn is love you can see.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
