I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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