I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
