Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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