Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
