Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
