It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
