i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
