Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
