I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
