I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
