windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
