No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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