But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
