My balls are so social today.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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