I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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