its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You pole danced in your parka.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
