I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
