were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
