is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
