What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
