is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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