Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
