its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
