I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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