I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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