White coat. Heels.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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