I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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