Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
