i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
