So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
