please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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