The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
