i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
