I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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