Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
