Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
